If you are still looking for cowboy conventions try looking in American Cowboy magazine. There are always ads for all kinds of conventions or gatherings around the country. Have you been to Silver Dollar City in Branson. From Sept to end of Oct. the have a salute to the american cowboy with celebs and western artists of all kinds. I met Buck Taylor (Newly) from Gunsmoke there a couple of years ago, he was showing and selling his artwork. Anyway hope this helps.
Posts by Baby Sister
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Subject: Is it Scotch?
On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher.
The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers.
The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy.
Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box.
The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit.
She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it. "Is it
wine?" she guessed.
"No," the boy replied. She tasted another drop and asked,
"Is it Champagne?.
"No," said the little boy..."It's a puppy!"
Didn't really care for either of them....
60%.....NO!!! Man I guess I better pack rain gear. We better start praying to the rain gods or whoever so it don't rain.
> On their wedding night, the young bride
> approached her new
> husband and asked for $20.00 for their first
> lovemaking encounter. In
> his highly aroused state, her husband readily
> This scenario was repeated each time they made
> love, for more
> than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a
> cute way for her to
> afford new clothes and other incidentals that
> she needed.
> Arriving home around noon one day, she was
> surprised to find
> her husband in a very drunken state.
> During the next few minutes, he explained that
> his employer
> was going through a process of corporate
> downsizing, and he had
> been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of
> 59, he'd be able to find
> another position that paid anywhere near what
> he'd been earning, and
> therefore, they
> were financially ruined.
> Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which
> showed more than thirty
> years of steady deposits and interest totaling
> nearly $1 million. Then she
> showed him certificates of deposits issued
> by the bank which were worth over $2 million,
> and informed him that they
> were one of the largest depositors in the bank.
> She explained that
> for the more than
> three decades she had "charged" him for sex,
> these holdings had multiplied
> and these were the
> results of her savings and investments.
> Faced with evidence of cash and investments
> worth over $3
> million, her husband was so astounded he could
> barely speak, but
> finally he found his voice and blurted out, "If
> I'd had any idea what you
> were doing, I would have given yo u all my
> That's when she shot him.
> You know, sometimes, men just don't know when
> to keep their mouths shut.
The Blonde Pilot
A blonde pilot decided she wanted to learn how to fly a helicopter.
She went to the airport, but the only one available was a solo-helicopter.
The instructor figured he could let her go up alone since she was already a pilot for small planes, and he could instruct her via radio.
So up the blonde went.
She reached 1,000 feet and everything was going smoothly. She reached 2,000 feet.
The blonde and the Instructor kept talking via radio. Everything was going smoothly.
At 3,000 feet the helicopter suddenly came down quickly! It skimmed the top of some trees and crash landed in the woods.
The instructor jumped into his jeep and rushed out to see if the blonde was okay. As he reached the edge of the woods, the blonde was walking out.
"What happened?" the instructor asked. "All was going so well until you reached 3,000 feet. What happened then?"
"Well," began the blonde, "I got cold. So I turned off the ceiling fan.
Hey Jay, have a cold one waiting for you. After all the dust from panning and riding you are going to need a tall one. Hurry in we have some catching up to do, town has been real dull without you boys.
Viper, ee , everyone else....where are you?
We have one about 30 miles east of me in a tiny little town called Kanaoplis. It is still owned and run by the same family that has had since the around the 50's(?). We used to go when we were kids but I haven't been in years. We used to have one here in Salina until the early 80"s then they tore it down. I think they still have one in Wichita also.
[quote='Jay J. Foraker','http://dukewayne.com/bb/index.php?thread/&postID=41786#post41786']Hey Keith - where has everybody gone on this topic, especially the gals . They must have headed back East.
Cheers - Jay
East? are you kidding..nothing exciting back east, I have been sitting in this empty saloon with my cold beer all by myself. NOT real exciting guys. Jay, where have you and all the others been, cattle drive? Gather everyone back up and lets have a party. First round is on me.
By the way where ARE all the gals?
gold nugget bigger...
to hell and....
Don't go horse back ridin'
The Secret to a Long and Happy Marriage.
A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary on the beaches in Montego Bay, Jamaica. Their domestic tranquility had long
been the talk of the town. People would say, "What a peaceful and loving couple".
The local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.
The husband replied: "Well, it dates back to our honeymoon in America ," explained the man. "We visited the Grand Canyon, in Arizona ,and took a trip, down to the bottom of the canyon, by horse. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled and she almost fell off.
My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said, "That's once."
"We proceeded a little further and horse stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, "That's twice."
"We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled for the third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead.
I SHOUTED at her, "What's wrong with you, Woman! Why did you shoot the poor animal like that? Are you crazy? She looked at ME, and quietly said, "That's once."
"And from that moment.....we have lived happily ever after
slowly past the
This one is for everyone who ...a) has kids,b) had kids,c) was a
kid,d) knows a kide) is going to have kids.I guess that means all
DADDY'S GONNA EAT YOUR FINGERS
I was packing for my
business trip and my three year old daughter was having a wonderful
time playing on thebed. At one point she said, "Daddy, look at
this", and stuck out two of her fingers.Trying to keep her
entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in my mouth
and said, "Daddy's gonna eat your fingers,"pretending to eat
them.Went back to packing, looked up again and my daughter was
standing onthe bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on
her face.I said, "What's wrong, honey?"She replied, What happened
to my booger?
#5....that's me.....so far so good
He said . . .. I don't know why you wear a bra; you've
>>got nothing to put in it. She
>>said .. . You wear pants don't you?
>>He said .. . .Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
>>She said . . That's a good idea - you stand by the
>>ironing board while I sit on the sofa.
>>He said . . .. What have you been doing with all the
>>grocery money I gave you?
>>She said . Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
>>On a wall in a ladies room . .. "My husband follows
>>me everywhere" Written just below it . " I do not"
>>Q.How does a man show that he is planning for the
>>A.He buys two cases of beer.
>>Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so
>>beautiful?" God says: "So you would love her."
>>But God," the man says, "why did you make her so
>>dumb?" God says: "So she would love you."
DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!
Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check."
"Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldogSpike. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!" "I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!"
When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.
The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled,
"Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!"
To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!"
See Men just don't listen
This is so cool....my daughter and I are both big Trekkies. I would hate to be the casting director on this, Spock will be very difficult to find. We'll see....
grown men squirm....
sixshooters shining, spurs....