This is a very interesting story, Cindyrella. I have only read two books on Howard Hughes, but not recently. One was Citizen Hughes by Michael Drosnin about Hughes' years in Vegas and his reach of power from the blacked out suite in his Hotel. The other was Heir Not Apparent by Suzanne Finstad about the years of searching for heirs after Hughes' death. Have you read this book and was your father mentioned in it? I must admit, the resemblance is errie. Your father and son both strike the look. I hope you do find out the truth someday. I can understand how frustrating it is to want to find truth but have it just out of reach.
And for the record, you don't come across as a nut case.
Not yet. 
(kidding, of course. lol)
Mark
