Well, just for fun, let's subtract a bunch of losers who have no chance at all of being remembered a week after their last turkey was publicly basted by fans and reviewers
Sean Penn is an over-rated dwarf who somehow has delusions of adequacy. Nicholas Cage is an untalented comic book nerd who churns out a crappy movie every six months so he can pay his tax penalties. Brad Pitt is a hair bag who specializes in trying to look soulful but comes across as constipated. Owen Wilson is blessed with having a split nose that looks exactly like a tiny ass and a whiny annoying voice to go with it. Al Pacino has lost his mind and consistently overacts - at times it appears he did not receive the same script as the other actors.
Michael Douglas is Spartacus Junior even behind the candelabra and pounds of facial putty that was troweled on by hand. Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman are absent from the Home and late for their nightly bed checks.
Tom Cruise is holding out for the role of "Grumpy" in the live remake of Snow White (It has Oscar written all over it and is a much better part than "Sleepy"). Jack Black should lose 50 pounds, shave his uni-brow and forever play a eunuch in a toga. Matt Damon should simply stick to liberal roles in movies as he fades into obscurity.
All the other contenders - Seth, Robert, Heath, Zach, Bradley, Ryan, Armie and Judd - are actually the same person. They blend together into an amorphous and banal stick figure, each of whom is substitutable for any occasion requiring a dull white male actor.
There. I feel much better and will now trundle off to sleep.
We deal in lead, friend.
