Posts from gt12pak in thread „A Friendly Subject“

  • A Friendly Subject

    How about some Dear Abby letters?.....


    DEAR ABBY: A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is
    a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her
    mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I've never
    seen a man go into their apartment or come out. Do you think they
    could be Lebanese?


    CURIOUS


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    DEAR ABBY: I've been married for six years and have five kids. No twins.
    My husband still wants to have sex every night and sometimes in the
    morning too. I told him he should get himself a hobby, and he says that
    is his hobby.


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    .....I have a man I never could trust. Why, he cheats so much I'm not
    even sure this baby I'm carrying is his.


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    .....I am a twenty-three-year-old liberated woman who has been on the
    pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend
    should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss
    money with him.


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    .....I suspected that my husband had been fooling around, and when I
    confronted him with the evidence he denied everything and said it would
    never happen again.


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    .....Will you please rush me the name of a reliable illegitimate doctor?


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    .....Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was
    raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?


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    .....I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now how do I get
    out?


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    .....My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50 an hour
    every week for two-and-a-half years. He must be crazy.


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    .....I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know he drank
    until one night he came home sober.


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    .....Do you think it would be all right if I gave my doctor a little
    gift? I tried for years to get pregnant and couldn't and he finally did
    it.


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    My mother is mean and short-tempered. I think she is going through her
    mental pause.


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    I met this nice guy who was in the service. He's the chief petting
    officer.


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    ..... Then you told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex
    to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex years
    ago and he is a doctor.


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    .....This is the second marriage for both of us. And when my husband said
    "I Will" he knew damn well he couldn't.


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    DEAR ABBY: I've been going steady with this man for six years. We see
    each other every night. He says he loves me, and I know I love him, but
    he never mentions marriage. Do you think he's going out with me just for
    what he can get?


    GERTIE


    DEAR GERTIE: I don't know. What's he getting?


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    DEAR ABBY: My husband hates to spend money! I cut my own hair and
    make my own clothes, and I have to account for every nickel I spend.
    Meanwhile he has a stock of savings bonds put away that would choke a
    cow. How do I get some money out of him before we are both called to our
    final judgment? He says he's saving for a rainy day.


    FORTY YEARS HITCHED


    DEAR HITCHED: Tell him it's raining!


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    DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend is going to be twenty years old next month. I'd
    like to give him something nice for his birthday. What do you think he'd
    like?


    CAROL


    DEAR CAROL: Never mind what he'd like. Give him a tie.


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    DEAR ABBY: Are birth control pills deductible?


    KAY


    DEAR KAY: Only if they don't work.


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    DEAR ABBY: Our son was married in January. Five months later his wife
    had a ten-pound baby girl. They said the baby was premature. Tell me,
    can a baby this big be that early?


    WONDERING


    DEAR WONDERING: The baby was on time, the wedding was late. Forget it.


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    DEAR ABBY: Do you think about dying much?


    CURIOUS


    DEAR CURIOUS: No, it's the last thing I want to do.


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    DEAR ABBY: Is it possible for a man to be in love with two women at the
    same time?


    JAKE


    DEAR JAKE: Yes, and also hazardous.


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    DEAR ABBY: I know boys will be boys, but my 'boy' is seventy-three and
    he's still chasing women. Any suggestions?



    ANNIE


    DEAR ANNIE: Don't worry. My dog has been chasing cars for years, but if
    he ever caught one, he wouldn't know what to do with it.


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    DEAR ABBY: I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I
    can't afford to spend a lot of money to do it. Any suggestions?


    SAM IN CAL.


    DEAR SAM: Yes. Run for public office.



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    DEAR ABBY: What inspires you most to write?


    TED


    DEAR TED: The Bureau of Internal Revenue.


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    DEAR ABBY: When you are being introduced, is it all right to say, "I've
    heard a lot about you"?


    RITA


    DEAR RITA: It depends on what you've heard.


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    DEAR ABBY: I am forty-four years old and I would like to meet a man my
    age with no bad habits.


    ROSE


    DEAR ROSE: So would I.


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    DEAR ABBY: What's the difference between a wife and a mistress?


    BESS


    DEAR BESS: Night and day.

  • A Friendly Subject

    Two blondes are standing on opposite sides of the river. One blonde says to the other blonde,"How do I get across?" The other blonde says,"You're already across!":gah:

  • A Friendly Subject

    Three men decide to join the FBI. They pass all of the tests and are ready to be agents, but they must pass one last test. The instructor says to the men that sometimes we have to kill and to see if you will kill, we have each of your wives sitting in a chair in a room. The instructor says to the first guy,"Take this gun and kill your wife." The first guy goes in, shuts the door and in a few minutes he comes out and says he can't kill the woman he loves. The second guy goes in and a few minutes later he comes out and says he can't kill the mother of his children. The instructor says to the third guy, "You know what to do." The third guy says,"say no more." He goes into the room, shuts the door and BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG! Silence. Then there was crashing, banging, and all sorts of loud noises. Silence. The third guy came out and the instructor asked what happened. Third guy says,"You didn't tell me you put blanks in the gun so I had to beat her to death with the chair!" I really hope I don't get kicked off after sharing that one.