These are "Church Bloopers" There is NO way I can read some of these without laughing out loud!!
Martha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Martha Belch all the way from Africa.
Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals."
Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again" giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."
Next Sunday is the family hay ride and bonfire at the Fowlers'. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict
The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water". The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus".
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing "Break Forth into Joy."
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice. :lol: (that one's my favorite.)
Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
The Lutheran men's group will meet at 6 pm. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s)
you want remembered.
Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.
The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 pm.-prayer and medication to follow.
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
This evening at 7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High."
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This one's called "Getting a wee bit deaf".
Man went to his doctor saying that he thought his wife was deaf but did not want to upset her by asking direct, what could he do?
The doctor said, "Go into the room and, if his wife had her back to him, just say something in a normal voice and move forward saying the same thing until she hears".
The man went home and, finding his wife at the kitchen sink with her back to him said, "What's for dinner dear?".
No reply, so he moved forward and repeated, "What's for dinner dear?". Still no reply.
Moves still nearer and again says "What's for dinner dear?". Still no acknowledgement.
He then positions himself just a foot behind her and again says "What's for dinner dear?".
She answers, "For the fourth time, shepherds pie!".