Not sure who to ask on this but--im told I created a Hornets Nest???

Quote from Peridot

One of my best friends lost his brother in a plane crash in Vietnam. (A coincidence) Steve has grieved for his brother so for so long now that it's been more years than he was alive. I can understand that kind of hurt. I had a sister. She died from cancer when I was 7. I've grieved for her all my life. At some point you either let go and forgive or you carry that burden or anger and resentment and it poisons the rest of your life. You see, the kind of cancer that killed my sister, Joyce, is now treatable. See how annoying that is?

Steve is also a pilot. He carried that anger for decades. The last time I saw him, he let it go. It's taken him a long time and he will never forget or stop loving his brother as he'll never stop missing him. I'll never stop missing Joyce. She'll always be with me as a part of my heart. This is something that only recently happened. It takes us a while sometimes.

Of course, we all make out own decisions about these things. Carrying anger and resentments hurts us rather than the other party. Here's something I read recently that helped me about being unwilling to forgive and let go: 'Unwillingness to forgive is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.'

I'd been angry with my mother-in-law, righteously so, for nearly 20 years. Still, I was the one with migraine headaches, high blood pressure, backaches and insomnia. I wanted to forgive her for my sake but somehow all that I had done wasn't quite enough to allow me to let go of my anger and rage toward her. Once I read these words, I was able to release all that anger, rage, resentment and yes, hatred, that I had held on to, and finally forgive her for all the harm and ill that she had done to me. It was an incredible feeling of freedom.

Now, in the event anyone may think it was a minor case of daughter-in-law/mother-in-law issues, allow me to disabuse you of that notion. I spoke to this woman on the telephone only once a year, at Christmas, and that night I would have screaming nightmares that would wake everyone in the 4,000 square foot split level house. Yes, my monster-in-law gave me PTSD. I am not exaggerating, it was that bad. I am not making this up. I went to great lengths to avoid her, taking separate vacations from my husband, even, who vacationed with his mother every year. (If anyone must know, send me a PM, it's a long story.)

But this is my experience. I'm not telling anyone how they should live. This is what I did. I used to be addicted to rage attacks, too. My life is ever so much better now, not to mention the people around me are happier without the Extreme Bitch Queen living with them. (I mean me, of course!)

So forgive me this brief segue into How I Learned to Forgive My Monster In Law. Please don't take it as me telling anyone to change your own lives. There's no advice in anything ^ there. This is what I did: I can speak with my MIL on the phone now and I even send her emails.

Interestingly enough, she's apologised to me twice now. Since I'm a Christian and Jesus told us that if we want to be forgiven we have to forgive others, I've forgiven her for her trespasses against me. It was a huge load off my own back for which I am grateful.

There's a process for this. If you're interested in either one, let me know via PM. I don't miss the screaming nightmares.

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Hi Keith, I greatly appreciate this useful info. I dont hate the Viets as a whole--just those responsible for mistreating our guys as well as their Southern brothers--when there was zero need for it. I have Vietnamese friends here in Corpus--and he's pretty cool. We often worked together when I was a Correctional Officer for the State of Texas. His name--Nguyen--pronounced Wynn. Anyway, he was one of those "Vietnamese Boat People" that came to the USA back in the 70s--and I think they landed around Galveston and stayed there till moving to Corpus.

Anywya, as much as it sounds like im a hateful person--not really--I just hate those who are criminals and criminal-minded. To me--those brutal NVA guards are scum of the Earth.

Even though I TRY to live a simple life--mine is far from simple.

Quote from Peridot

Ringo Kid, you don't sound the least bit hateful to me. There are horrible and bad people in the world. If I told you what my MIL did to me, you'd probably hate her on my behalf. She thought she was doing the right thing. People think they're doing the right thing when they're misguided. That's how I have to think of my MIL, as misguided. She meant well, or she thought she did.

My electrician's from South Vietnam...he doesn't speak often of the war but he has stories to tell. He evacuated because most of his family was killed in the war.

He's a great guy. I call him first every time I have a problem. He rewired my entire house last year and did a great job. We built it in 1979 and had a problem with the siding leaking so it needed rewiring. He was one of those who evacuated hanging onto a helicopter. A horrible experience for him. He's American now, a naturalized citizen. He works hard, pays taxes and votes. He's a good guy and belongs to a union. When I have an electrical problem he comes over on the same day, usually within two hours. Could anyone ask for better customer service than that? I recommend him to everyone. But I digress.

I think you're a good guy. I carried around a big load of anger, hatred and resentment for a long time. You see, my mother-in-law nearly killed me. It wasn't in combat but I would have been just as dead.

I've forgiven her. I feel better now without carrying all that anger and rage; that's all I'm saying. Anyone interested in the details can send me a PM. This is the end of my public discussion on this topic.

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Hi Keith, I appreciate that ;-)) I often dont word things right so things look different if you dont know me? Luckily, a few here do and know my style ;-)) Sorry about the guff between you and the MiL. I was the best friend of a beautiful gal by the name of Allisyn--and it was because of me--that her mother no longer beat her to a pulp over anything. I was the only person Allisyn ever brought home that she liked and had respect for. I went over onetime and luckily the front door to the house was unlocked and I head screaming and rushed in in time to see the mother take a butcher knife and was actually in the process of trying to stab Allisyn and the mom stopped when she saw me and said nothing-dropped the butcher knife and walked to the living rooom and just sat in a chair. Allisyn was shaking so bad. We called the Dad--who im still good friends with--and he asked me to stay there till he get there. To make along story short--the mother had somekind of a mental problem and she thought her first born Daughter was a spawn of the devil or somehting like that? Needless to say--she's been Institutionalized. I also waited around for the younger Daughter to get back from School. Allisyan and her Sister Heather--were actual twins--just born several years apart. I forget what the term for that is?

Quote from Peridot

Not sure there's a term for that, RK. I believe we call them twins born in different years. I went to school with twins born in different years but they were born at the same time, one a few minutes before midnight on New Year's Eve and the other born in the New Year. They were non-identical dizygotic, or fraternal twins. Both girls were pretty but they were very different: one was tall and one was short, one was sweet-looking and one was beautiful, one was petite and one was buxom and voluptuous. Interesting and strange, isn't it?

That one sounds interesting to say the least ;-)) Allisyn and Heather were born 8 ot 10 years apart and they are identical in every way, shape and form. I saw Heather a few years ago and she looks exactly like Allisyn did when we hung around and went out. Almost like I stepped back in time 20 years ;-))

Quote from Peridot

That must be very odd. I can only imagine what that must be like.

I had never known such things either till I met Allisyn and Heather ;-)) If you place them side-by-side today---you would still have a very hard time telling them apart ;-))

Quote from Peridot

The closest to that is my friend who had 5 sons. Those boys, with the exception of the redheaded one, were so much alike that the photographs of each of them were identical. Were it not for their clothing and their friends, their school photos would be unable to be separated one from the other.

The oldest looked exactly like the third like the fourth and the fifth. It was amazing to me how much like clones they were. The redhead was adorable and looked like himself, of course. They're all handsome and brilliant and have done well now. Two of them have graduated from the Air Force academy and are in service, one is becoming a doctor, one a pharmacist and the other a pilot. I'm proud to say I knew them when and I'm proud of all of them.

My son was best friends with the youngest boy. They're still good friends but don't see one another often, unfortunately. We had to move for middle school and my son isn't much interested in email. He's autistic, I believe I mentioned that before. It's too bad, he loves his friend. We were going to attend his wedding but my son was very ill. It's a shame.

We miss them a lot. His mother's a great friend of mine.

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That's about the same way as it is with my three Nephews--and my three Great Nieces and one Great Nephew--the 4th Great Niece is expected this month. Anyway, all three of my Nephews greatly resembled each other and now my 3 GNs look almost exactly alike though born 1 yr--3 and 4 years apart. My three Nephews are all doing well and make a cool $75,000+++ a year.

Quote from Peridot

Neat. Then you know 'perzackly' what I mean.

Heh heh, im looking forwards to finding out for sure. Gives me somehting else to look forwards to-besides waiting for Nov 7th and watching The Great Escape on the big screen.

Quote from The Tennesseean

Carl...Can i speak if I'm NOT in solitary confinement?!

Sure, and im the one who is used to being in: "The Cooler" on a couple of sites ;-)) Like Steve McQueen, im considered a "Cooler King" on a site I just recently quit.

Quote from Dooley

Great escape on the big screen, now that will be a treat!
I'm getting excited about Lawrence of Arabia at the cinema over here soon.

They couldnt have picked a better time to play it either--right at or just after election-time--and I may need it to distract me providing the wrong ones stay in office.

Quote from Hawkswill

Ok RK, what have you done now, Son? Are you a big Steve fan? Haven't done a sketch of him. Do you have a pic that you would like a sketch of? If so, I will do one for you.

Did you learn to post the medals yet?

KP

Hi Kevin, mostly what I did was that I told 50% of the owners of one site--that I thought they were mindless morons--using other words of course. On another site--I told one Admin what I thought of him after he pushed me for months on a certain topic/passion of his that rubs my nerves raw--and that is--going about and spouting his negative image of the USA, Americans--and gun owning Americans--and the final thing was his insulting some of our vets like: Audie Murphy, Carlos Hathcock and others to name just a few.

He and I also got involved in an electronic "Donnybrook" over things like: Pearl Harbor--and also his insistence that the famed Iwo Jima flag raisings were faked. I got him back a few good times by mentioning the fact that the Dutch military surrendered to the Germans after less than 6 hours of fighting--which is the truth. :lol::lol::lol:

I am a big Steve McQueen fan. He was one even during the earliest parts of his career-that you could tell was going to be one of the greats in acting.Just look at some of his Wanted Dead or Alive episodes and you can see him coming into his own--as well as in Hell is for Heroes--which were done at or near the same time. Him in The Great Escape and The Magnificent Seven and such--unbeatable IMO.

Ive got a few nice photos of hi and thanks to Bill, I got quite a few more great ones. Ill have to pick them out and look see-as I cant remember what all I have with him in it? Only thing is--I would have to send you a copy of a photo CD as I think all my images are on it?? I already have a copy of the CD made so that's no prob ;-))

Im taking your talented with art? I used to be able to drw comic characters when I was younger but--I no longer can draw a line because of my tremors problem. I have a couple of McQueen images from The Great Escape (thanks to Bill) and a few from Hell is for Heroes. When I get them out--ill look see and see whats the best one in them.

What kind of art do you do? I used to be good with inks and pencil--color markers. I cant and never could paint at all.

I havent tried anything with medals yet--havent had time to get them out and take them to get placed on a CD yet. I need to because I have some folks on another site wanting to see what I have too ;-))