A Friendly Subject

heres a couple that might get the funny bone

Q. what do you call a dear with no eyes?

A. no idea

Q. what do you call a dear with no eyes or legs?

A. still no idea

Q. what is the definition of agony?

A. teeth marks on the toilet door

Q. what is the definition of more agony?

A. more teeth marks on the toilet door

Q. what is the definition if extreme agony?

A. no toilet door

just some oldies that i thought that you would like

and mrs c like the stick one had a good laugh over it

cheers smokey

I'm not sure if this one is appropriate here, but here it goes anyway. It's supposed to be a true story (well who knows).



A tourist in a lower class apartment hotel in one of the Spanish tourist places had to take a trip to the toilet. After doing his business he flushed, but one big piece of his production wouldn't go down the pipes. He flushed repeatedly but this particular piece
wouldn't budge. Well the man went down to the reception to tell them about the problem. Well this represented a problem since the tourist didn't speak Spanish and the person in the reception only spoke a few words of English. After trying for a while to explain this using words and sign language the person in the reception and the cleaning
people had no idea what had happened, but had a notion that cleaning personnel was wanted, so the man had not only one but two cleaning ladies following him up to his room. When the three arrived in the toilet the man pointed down into the toilet so the ladies could see what was in it. He then flushed, and of course this time the stubborn
piece disappeared.

Popol Vuh,

Funny story - I thought up a little post script to it -

. . . one of the cleaning ladies responded (in Spanish, of course), "Are you bragging or complaining?"

:lol:

Chester

I just got this in email, and had to share it -

After getting all of Pope Benedict XVIl's luggage loaded into the limo (and he doesn't travel lightly), the Limo Driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb.

"Excuse me, Your Eminence," says the driver, "but would you please take your seat so we can leave?"

"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they never let me drive at the Vatican, so I'd like to do the driving today."

"I'm sorry, but I cannot let you do that -- I'd lose my job! And what if something should happen?" protests the driver, wishing he'd never come in to work that morning.

"There might be something extra in it for you," says the Pope.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Supreme Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 MPH.

"Please slow down, Your Holiness!!" pleads the worried Driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.

"Oh, Dear God, I'm gonna' lose my license," moans the limo driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches.

The cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on his radio. "I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher.

The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going a hundred and five.

"So bust him!" says the Chief.

"I don't think we want to do that; he's really important," says the cop.

The Chief exclaims, "All the more reason!"

"No, I mean REALLY important!" says the cop.

The Chief then asks, "Who ya got there - the Mayor?"

Cop: "Bigger."

Chief: "Governor?"

Cop: "Bigger."

"Well," says the Chief, "then who is it?"

Cop: "I think it's God!"

Chief: "Now what makes you think it's God?"

Cop: "He's got the Pope for a Limo Driver."

Eat your fruit and veggies, folks, or this may happen to you. :lol: :lol: :lol:

God stumpy!!!

You have changed such a lot,
since the last photograph you posted!!!!
You need help!!!

An elderly couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were
standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and
washed the old woman overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find
her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he
would notify him as soon as they found something. Three weeks went by and
finally the old man got a fax from the boat. It read: "Sir, sorry to inform
you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled her up to
the deck and attached to her bu## was an oyster and in it was a pearl worth
$50,000 . please advise." The old man faxed back: "Send me the pearl and
re-bait the trap."

Baby Sis

Here's another tee-shirt pic you guys will appreciate. :lol:

Hi stumpy.
and you said I was kinky,
this site's getting really interesting!
Have you got her phone number?

Hi Stumpy -
Hey, is she joining the girls in Dodge?
Cheers - Jay :lol:

Quote

Originally posted by Jay J. Foraker@Jun 30 2005, 09:15 AM
Hi Stumpy -
Hey, is she joining the girls in Dodge?
Cheers - Jay :lol:

[snapback]18366[/snapback]

Naw, she ain't swift enough to find the way there.

Tell you what, stumpy,
any more uplifting photographs,
please post them!!

Quote

Originally posted by ethanedwards@Jun 30 2005, 09:36 AM
Tell you what, stumpy,
any more uplifting photographs,
please post them!!

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Sorry, Keith, the remainder aren't suitable for mixed company.

But Jim,
You can always e-mail them to me,
ha ha

boys, boys, boys get your minds out of the cutter ...... and let mine crawl past :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

cheers smokey

Quote

Originally posted by Stumpy@Jun 30 2005, 09:18 AM
Naw, she ain't swift enough to find the way there.

[snapback]18367[/snapback]

Aww, shucks -
Cheers - Jay :lol:

Quote

Originally posted by Jay J. Foraker@Jun 30 2005, 09:15 AM
Hi Stumpy -
Hey, is she joining the girls in Dodge?
Cheers - Jay :lol:

[snapback]18366[/snapback]

NO!!

Sis

There was a midget down in Texas who complained to his buddy that his testicles ached almost all the time. As he was always complaining about his problem, his lover suggested that he go to the doctor see what he could be done to relieve the problem.

The midget took his advice, went to the doctor. The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look. The doc put one finger under the guy's left testicle and told him to turn his head and cough, the usual method to check for hernia.

"Aha!" mumbled the doc as he putt his finger under the right testicle, he asked the midget to cough again. "Ahhha!!" said the doctor and reached for his surgical scissors. Snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip on the right side then snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip on the left side. The midget was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt. The Doctor then told the midget to pull up his pants see if they still ached. The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around the doc's office and discovered his testicles were no longer aching.

"Gee, what did you do Doc?" he asked. The doc replied, "I cut two inches off the tops of your cowboy boots."

:lol: :lol: :lol:

A man walked into a bar, and said to his friend,
"Hey Jim, do you talk to your wife, when you're making love?"
The other man said,"Yes, if I've got the phone with me!!

Quote

Originally posted by Baby Sister@Jun 30 2005, 05:44 PM
NO!!
Sis

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Aww, Baby Sister - you want us all to yourselves. I'm flattered!!!
Cheers - Jay