A Friendly Subject

[INDENT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, "Surely I can't look that old?"

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Well . . you'll love this tale from a woman!!

I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class nearly 40 years ago. Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?

Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, grey-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate. After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High School.

"Yes. Yes, I did. I'm a Mustang," he gleamed with pride.
[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"When did you graduate?" I asked.

He answered, "In 1968. Why do you ask?"
[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"You were in my class!" I exclaimed.

He looked at me closely. Then that ugly, old, wrinkled, bald, fat, grey, decrepit son-of-a- . . . asked, "What did you teach?
[/FONT]
[/INDENT]
[/FONT]

Here's one for all you moms out there (and dads, too - Chester got a good laugh out of it ). Or for anyone who's ever had a mom !

[extendedmedia]

Enjoy!

Mrs. C

[INDENT]Mrs. C, That was Great !!! And Boy Do I Love That Piece Of Music !!!!!!!
"Hi-YO-SILVER-AWAY
Bill

[/INDENT]

Great piece - I can't imagine how she kept everything in place. Rossini, I think, would have approved!
Cheers - Jay

Quote from chester7777

. . . Chester got a good laugh out of it ).

Mrs. C

Yeah, I did! My son and I must have played it a dozen times or more yesterday. Every time somebody came in the door, I showed it to them! I emailed it to friends. I called a few and told them about it.

It is so . . . universal! EVERYbody has a mom who has said at least a few of those things. It was very clever how she put them all together, and matched them to the music. It was great!

Chester

Great find! Thanks for sharing that with us. And like you, Chester, my first thought was who I was going to share that with. Guarenteed to bring a smile and a laugh. :teeth_smile:

Mark

[INDENT]

[/INDENT]

great find mrs c had a good laugh, wasnt she great to put it with that music. thanks for sharing it with us

cheers smokey

If that last little video didn't tickle your funny bone, maybe this one will -

[extendedmedia]

Looks like a candid camera episode from Germany (or Austria).
Cheers - Jay

thanks chester and mrs c great laugh

cheers smokey

Funny prank!

good laugh in that one mrs c, liked it when they had that woman thinking she was invisible

cheers smokey

The Lonely Old Lady

An older lady was somewhat lonely and decided she needed a pet to keep her company. So, off to the pet shop she went. She searched and searched. None of the pets seemed to catch her interest, except this ugly frog As she walked by the jar he was in, she looked and he winked at her.


He whispered, "I'M LONELY, TOO. BUY ME AND TAKE ME HOME. YOU WON'T EVER BE SORRY."


The old lady figured, what the heck! She hadn't found anything else. So, she bought the frog. She placed him in the car, on the front seat beside her.


As she was slowly driving down the road, the frog whispered to her "KISS ME AND YOU WON'T BE SORRY."


So! The old lady figured, WHAT THE HECK, and kissed the frog.


IMMEDIATELY the frog turned into an absolutely gorgeous, sexy, young, handsome prince.


The prince then returned the old lady's kiss.


SUDDENLY the old lady felt herself transforming from his kiss.


Now can you guess what the old lady turned into?


Come on, guess!

OOOOOOOHHHHHHH Come on -- dont be a poop!

*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*






SHE TURNED INTO THE FIRST HOLIDAY INN SHE COULD FIND.

Good one, Chester - where do you come up with all these gems?
Cheers - Jay

This was in the "Washington Post"... the title of the article was "Best Comeback Line Ever." This is pretty damn good. Drunk and horny, he still came up with this!

Police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. Friday. Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday.

The suspect allegedly stated that as he was passing a pumpkin patch, he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview from the jail.

Lawrence went on to state that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need." "I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice the Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor. "I walked up to (Lawrence) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin."

Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence. "I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?' He got real surprised, as you'd expect, and then looked me straight in the face and said, "A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?"

in days of old
when knights were bold and women weren't invented
they drilled holes in telegraph poles and
walked away contented

say this written on a power pole right near a hole thought it was funny

cheers smokey

A young man shopping in a supermarket
noticed a little old lady following him around.

If he stopped, she stopped.
Furthermore she kept staring at him.

She finally overtook him at the checkout,
turned to him and said, "I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease;
it's just that you look so much like my late son."

He answered, "That's okay."

"I know it's silly, but if you'd call out
'Good bye, Mom' as I leave the store,?
it would make me feel good."

She then went through the checkout,
and as she was on her way out of the store,
the man called out, "Goodbye, Mom."

The little old lady waved and smiled
back at him.

Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine
into someone's day, he went to pay for his
groceries.

"That comes to $121.85," said the clerk.

"How come so much ...
I only bought 5 items.."

The clerk replied,
"Yeah, but your Mother said
you'd be paying for hers, too."

Gentlemen,

Nothing personal here, but I got the following in an email, and I know the ladies will get a kick out of it.

Mrs. C

WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.

As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.

"No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."

WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.

An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."



W O R D S
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a
day...30,000 to a man's 15,000.

The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"



CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.

"The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that
the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says..........

"HE-BREWS"

The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.



God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

good one mrs c enjoyed the laugh thanks for sharing them with us

cheers smokey