A Friendly Subject

Quote from Lt. Brannigan

I mean after all, politicians are fine honest and upstanding people.

Mark Twain had 'em pegged.

Here's some more Twain quotes that describe Congress to a tee.

Mark Twain did indeed have congress pegged. Which reminds me you probably knew this, but a herd of baboons is called a "Congress".

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer.

It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'.

Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT &DO.

Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Are we there yet???

That made me chuckle... thanks Chester.

OH MY GOSH.....LOL....LOL....LMAO...OHHHHHH the pain....

Chester...the Wal-Mart thingy made me laugh so hard I could not breathe...my head hurts, and Rhett came in asking if I was okay...lol...

That was priceless....

Like the boobs and viagra one too....

Hi

A Frenchman, a Scot and and Irishman are lying in a mortuary. The Coroner looks at the bodies and notices that they are all smiling. He asks why are they smiling.
The attendant explains
The Frenchman was making love to his mistress at the exact moment he died.
The Scot found out that he had just won the lottery
And the irishman had just been struck by lightning.
The Coroner says why would being struck by lightning make him smile.
The attendant explained'
He thought he was having his picture taken.

Regards

Arthur

I hope this is never me!

Mrs. C

senior moment.jpg

Thanks a Lot Mrs.C, I just guess I will Quit Driving, And Just Fly over for my next Burger and Fries !!!

Bill

mrs c

it will be the children who send you this way before you reach old age

cheers smokey

Subject: 50 Years of Math
Fifty Years of Math 1958 - 2008Last week I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried. Why do I tell you this?

Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1950s:

1. Teaching Math In 1950s

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

2. Teaching Math In 1960s

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100 His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

3. Teaching Math In 1970s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?

4. Teaching Math In 1980s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his pro fit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Math In 1990s
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers, and if you feel like crying, it's ok. )

6. Teaching Math In 2008
Un hachero vende una carretada de madera para $100. El costo de la producciones es $80. Cuanto dinero ha hecho.

That was sooooooo funny. You know why that was sooooo funny? Because it's true!

Thanks for the laugh, I love a good chuckle.

Mark

Obama fan?

A teacher in Elmira, New York asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Obama fans. Not really knowing what an Obama fan was but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for Johnny.

The teacher asked Johnny why he had decided to be different..

Little Johnny said, "Because I'm not an Obama fan."

The teacher said, "Why aren't you an Obama fan?'

Johnny said, "Because I'm a Republican."

The teacher asked him why he was a Republican.

Johnny answered, "Well, my mom's a Republican and my dad's a Republican, so that makes me a Republican".

The teacher asked, "If your Mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?"

With a big smile, Johnny replied, "That would make me an Obama fan" .

chester and stumpy

THANKS FOR THE GOOD LAUGHS, the maths one how right you are they allow them to use caluclators in grade 6 now when i had to wait for grade 11 before i was even allowed one, gone are the days of mental maths how sad

cheers smokey

Now that was a good one Stumpy.......

That's getting forwarded to everyone on my email list!!!

I read a short story by Issac Asimov years ago where he invisioned a distant future where everything was calculated by computers, even simple addition and subtraction. Some scientists feared a breakdown of the machines and one came up with the idea of putting marks on paper with a scribe of some sort (read pencil) and figuring calculations from that!!!! LOL:teeth_smile:
Cheers - Jay

Quote from Stumpy

Obama fan?

A teacher in Elmira, New York asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Obama fans. Not really knowing what an Obama fan was but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for Johnny.

The teacher asked Johnny why he had decided to be different..

Little Johnny said, "Because I'm not an Obama fan."

The teacher said, "Why aren't you an Obama fan?'

Johnny said, "Because I'm a Republican."

The teacher asked him why he was a Republican.

Johnny answered, "Well, my mom's a Republican and my dad's a Republican, so that makes me a Republican".

The teacher asked, "If your Mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?"

With a big smile, Johnny replied, "That would make me an Obama fan" .

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I liked that one a LOT!!!
Cheers - Jay

Quote from Jay J. Foraker

I read a short story by Issac Asimov years ago where he invisioned a distant future where everything was calculated by computers, even simple addition and subtraction. Some scientists feared a breakdown of the machines and one came up with the idea of putting marks on paper with a scribe of some sort (read pencil) and figuring calculations from that!!!! LOL:teeth_smile:
Cheers - Jay

Back in the early Eighties, my wife managed a convenience store in the suburbs of Dallas. Occasionally, their electronic cash register would go on the blink. When that happened, my wife told her employees to use paper and pencil to calculate the charges. Most of them didn't know how. Sad.......

In school, I never had any problems with math so long as we were figuring in actual numbers. But when we got into algebra and started trying to figure those abstracts like 6x plus 4y minus 8z equals ?, I was lost. I managed to pass algebra but I think our teacher just felt sorry for me.

Would you believe that I majored in math and minored in physics when I was in college?.
I wound up working for a newspaper where this material helped me out quite often, but I've forgotten most of the higher stuff.
Cheers - Jay

Quote from Jay J. Foraker

Would you believe that I majored in math and minored in physics when I was in college?.
I wound up working for a newspaper where this material helped me out quite often, but I've forgotten most of the higher stuff.
Cheers - Jay

My youngest son won state in creative writing and intended to become some sort of professional writer (we both love to write). But at my urging, he began college in pursuit of a degree in electrical engineering, as I had read that profession paid the highest (and best) salaries (this was back in the early Eighties). I couldn't believe some of the math formulas he used to study in advanced calculus. Most of them took up ten or twelve inches on paper.

Eventually, he had to take a prerequisite for the EE degree that resulted in him getting an incomplete as his instructor was some kind of foreigner who spoke very poor English and my son said he couldn't understand the guy. So finally, he gave up the idea of electrical engineering and got a degree in Economics. Paid off though as he's earning over $100,000. in Dallas, which I think is considerably above average.