A Friendly Subject

he is waiting for the brief to come down

cheers smokey

Think I'll put this bumper sticker on my vehicle and drive around out in environmentalist country - you know, California, Oregon, Washington, places like that.

Quote from Stumpy

Think I'll put this bumper sticker on my vehicle and drive around out in environmentalist country - you know, California, Oregon, Washington, places like that.

Hi Stumpy
I'm listening to the song of Chely Wright.
"Bumper of My SUV" was a good song.
Sings I've got a bright red sticker on the back of my car.
Says "United States Marines"・・・・・・・.

stumpy what are we going to do with you if you keep this up we will all have side aches from all the laughing

you sure know how to crack us up

cheers smokey

Brenda O' Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. "Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya". "Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?" "That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda." There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..." "Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me." "I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry." Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?" "It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned." "Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me truth, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?" "Well, Brenda... no. In fact, he got out three times to pee."

good one stony

cheers smokey

"TO DO IS TO BE"-Nietzsche
"TO BE IS TO DO"-Kant
"DO BE DO BE DO-Sinatra

Just so y'all know, I'm the one who's posting this . . .
Mrs. C

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What Religion is Your Bra?

A man walked into the ladies department of Myer's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife."

"What type of bra?" asked the clerk.

"Type?" inquires the man. "There's more than one type?"

"Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, colour and material imaginable. "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from."

Relieved, the man asked about the types.

The saleslady replied, "There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?"

Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.

The saleslady responded, 'It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses; the Salvation Army type lifts the fallen; the Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright; the Baptist type makes mountains out of molehills."

Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes?

If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!

{A} Almost B**bs...
{B} Barely there....
{C} Can't Complain!..
{D} Dang!...
{DD} Double dang!...
{E} Enormous!...
{F} Fake...
{G} Get a Reduction....
{H} Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!...

Quote from chester7777

{E} Enormous!...
{F} Fake...
{G} Get a Reduction....
{H} Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!...

Can't remember the name of the club but back in the 60s there was a topless joint on Broadway in San Francisco that I visited a few times while I was in the military. The featured attraction was a gal who had a 44-inch bust. Talk about top-heavy.....

One night my brother-in-law (he and my sister lived in San Jose at the time) and I took my sister into San Fran for a night on the town. She's very prudish (almost Victorian) so as a prank, the BIL and I took her to this topless place. Talk about shocked - she wouldn't speak to us for a week afterwards.

I think my female relations will definitely get a kick out of that, I know I did.

Quote from Stumpy

Can't remember the name of the club but back in the 60s there was a topless joint on Broadway in San Francisco that I visited a few times while I was in the military. The featured attraction was a gal who had a 44-inch bust. Talk about top-heavy.....

Here's the name of that woman to which I referred and also it mentions the name of the club (Condor Club). It was a very popular attraction for heterosexual young men in San Francisco back then.

good one mrs c like it
needed a good laugh today

cheers smokey

So...would you say you got..."busted?"

Sorry, I just couldn't help it!

SPAGHETTI

For several years, a man carried on an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she told him she was pregnant.

Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he said he would pay her a large sum of money if she stayed in Italy to secretly have the child. If she also stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would pay child support until the child turned 18.

She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. He told her to simply mail him a post card, and write 'Spaghetti' on the back. He would then arrange for child-support payments to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.'Honey,' she said, 'you received a very strange post card today.' 'Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain later,' he said.

The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white,and fainted.

On the card was written:

'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Three with meatballs, two without. Send extra sauce!!!!

Jim, that was terrible! Now that was a joke. A classic if I've ever heard one.

Cheers

Church Bloopers...

Low self esteem group will meet thursday at 7 p.m.
Please use the back door.

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of
those things not worth keeping around the house.
Bring your husbands.

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00pm-
prayer and medication to follow.

[INDENT][INDENT]

I bought a new Chevy Avalanche and returned to the dealer yesterday because I couldn't get the radio to work.
[/INDENT]The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated.

'Nelson,' the salesman said to the radio.

The radio replied, 'Ricky or Willie?'


'Willie!' he continued and 'On The Road Again' came from the speakers.

Then he said, 'Ray Charles!', and in an instant ' Georgia On My Mind' replaced Willie Nelson.

I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I'd say, 'Beethoven,' I'd get beautiful classical music, and if I said, 'Beatles,' I'd get one of their awesome songs.

Yesterday, some guy ran a red light and nearly creamed my new truck, but I swerved in time to avoid him.

I yelled, 'A$$ Hole!'

Immediately the radio responded with, "Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States Barack Hussein Obama

[/INDENT]:lol:lol:lol

That is beyond words.

Q: Did you hear about the guy they found dead with his head in his cornflakes?

A: The police thought it was a cereal killer.